Search and Ponder

  A lot of life can happen in 10 years. When I started this blog, I was a newly hired teacher at the Provo Missionary Training Center, single and dating, trying to figure out what my major should be at Brigham Young University. That now feels to me like another life. After that period of many major life decisions and learning about myself, I’m now married to an amazing wife, with our 4th child due this month. We’re on our 3rd career-level job, 2nd house, I’ve served in the Primary, the Elders Quorum, the Bishopric, the Young Men… you get it: a lot has changed, and in many ways life has settled into a rhythm - a stark contrast to the uncertainty and ever-changing environment of young single adulthood.  Now, almost a full decade after beginning this blog, I am coming out of the other side of what I have started calling a "faith maturing" (vs a faith crisis), and I can’t shake the feeling that I should write it down and share it. Maybe you're reading this because you’re expe

Over this last summer I saw the new Superman movie  Man of Steel . I loved it, and although I don't think they should destroy the character by making a Man of Steel/Dark Knight movie, It does make me think: why would Superman and Batman ever work together? Why would Superman need the help of a hero with no superpowers? It's a good argument, but here's what makes the Dark Knight such a relatable and appealing character: He is not something from another planet, but he is human with fears and flaws. He is a human who has the tools (and skills) to be a hero. Today I asked the missionaries at work who their favorite Book of Mormon hero was. They all yelled out Moroni, Ammon, Helaman, and Nephi, among others. I asked them what made those people heroes, and they had so many answers like "Moroni stood up for what he believed in!" and "Ammon put his whole heart into serving the people," and "Nephi had such strong faith and resolve!" Nephi. What a

The other night I was driving down a road in Spanish Fork, Utah, and for some reason every traffic light I came across was red. Or should I say it was red right up until the moment I came to a stop in front of it and then it turned green. It stayed red just long enough for me to have to lose my momentum before it turned green again. This happened over and over and it made me think of something. Around 5 or 6 B.C. there were some people who had turned from righteousness and had begun to set their hearts on their riches and their accomplishments. They had forgotten God and fallen into sin of every kind. The scriptures say they "[sought] for happiness in doing iniquity" (Hel 13 chapter heading). While they were caught up in this self-destructive behavior, a missionary named Samuel climbed up on their city wall and preached to them. He called them to repentance and some believed and repented. They changed their ways. Others tried to kill him. Samuel prophesied Christ's

Learn to Recognize the Impressions of the Spirit ( PMG Ch. 4) When asked the question, "How do I know if it's the Spirit or myself talking?" Elder Bednar has responded, "Quit worrying about it. Quit fussin', quit stewin', and quit worrying about it." That is a pretty welcome answer, except haven't I always heard that impressions of the Spirit are impressions that "inviteth and enticeth to do good continually"(Moroni 7:13)? Isn't that the way to tell where the impression is coming from? After answering that question the way he did, Elder Bednar continued to tell a story. I think this story was in a 2009 issue of The Liahona . When he was a 19 year old missionary he was sent to pick up Elder Boyd K. Packer from the airport and take him to a train station. Elder Packer was with his wife. They both got on the train and (I found the story) this is how Elder Packer tells what happened: As the train was pulling out, one young elder said

FEAR Fear is an ugly monster that grows inside the human mind and whose only accomplishment is human failure. How many times have you missed out on a great opportunity because you were nervous about what others would think of you? You didn't walk out of that movie that was making you uncomfortable, or you didn't speak up in your meeting when you had something to say. Maybe you didn't talk to that cute girl that sat by you in your huge statistics class or you didn't turn your hazards on and get out of your car to help the mother and daughter trying to push theirs. What if what you had to say was dumb, the girl didn't like you, or the traffic behind you got mad that you were holding them up? What if...what if. How many times is your failure to act based on a fear, however small it may be, that has grown in your mind? Imagine how much you could accomplish were fear eliminated from your life. How much of an impact could your life have on others if you were suddenly

There is a book called Acting on Doctrine  by Elder David A. Bednar. I haven't read it but it comes with a DVD of a question-and-answer setting with Elder Bednar. One invitation he gave on that DVD was to pray and ask God to show you who you really are, and you'll be surprised what you see. Over General Conference weekend with a mission reunion and a temple session, I accepted that invitation. I won't write the very special experiences that happened as a result, but since then my studies have turned to the topic of conversion. The objective of life's experiences and challenges is that man can become like God; to be like God in the sense that one's desires are the same as God's, and also the way in which one reacts and responds in any situation is the same way God himself would respond in that same situation. It's pretty clear when you realize that your potential is to work with God side by side in His kingdom one day. In essence it is an effective use

Follow the Prophet (PMG Ch. 4) In 1622 a Spanish treasure ship called the Atocha made a voyage from Colombia back to Spain. Because there was so much cargo--treasure, civilians, soldiers--the ship left later than planned and ended up traveling in the middle of hurricane season. As night fell, the sea was choppy, and by the time the morning came they were stuck in a vicious storm that beat at the masts and sails. The Atocha was carried up on a giant wave and smashed back into the water. It sank and only five passengers survived.* The world we live in is constantly changing, and sometimes it can be scary. In the media all around us we see constant messages designed to shape the way we think. What is beauty? What does a person have to do to be successful? What is acceptable as entertainment? Social media succeeds more and more every day in shutting us off from our surroundings, and definitions of 'tolerance' and 'love' evolve with society. Some people in the wor

Agency and the Fall of Adam and Eve (PMG) 2 Nephi 2:25 Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy. Yesterday I went on a class assignment to the BYU Folk Dance Ensemble show called The Gathering.   In the opening prayer I heard the words "please help anyone here who is in need of an added measure of joy , that it may be granted them." The words stuck in my mind as the show began. They were doing a few dances like this:                                     and the words from the scripture in 2 Nephi came to my mind. We really are in existence so that we can have joy. Men are that they might have joy . I was amazed by how powerfully that little gem came to me. About 2100 years ago there was a man who had command over a lot of things, and a lot of people. He was a king, and he had power, by worldly standards. He hadn't made the best use of his power, and had put many disobedient and incapable servants to death, on top of any other wars an

 Luke 22 31 And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:  32 But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.  33 And he said unto him, Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death.  34 And he said, I tell thee, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, before that thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me. What was Peter thinking? How could he claim to be so strong and good and then deny Christ three times? How could he be so fickle! No. One time I got a 94% on a test (ha one time). That happened right after I found out I had received a half tuition scholarship and right before I got my dream job teaching at the Missionary Training Center. I had also just started dating someone. I felt so good. I felt extremely blessed, and that gave me a lot of confidence. Every once in awhile I have a great experience or series of experiences t

Learn to Recognize the Promptings of the Spirit (Preach My Gospel, Ch. 4) President Boyd K. Packer taught: "The voice of the Spirit is described in the scripture as being neither 'loud' nor 'harsh.' It is 'not a voice of thunder, neither...voice of a great tumultuous noise.' But rather, 'a still voice of perfect mildness, as if it had been a whisper.' and it can 'pierce even to the very soul' and 'cause [the heart] to burn.' (3 Ne 11:3; Hel. 5:30; D&C 85:6-7)". For the last year or so, my parents have felt a persistent whisper to move out of the house they have lived in for almost 14 years. I spent 10 years of my life there and loved it. "Knowing that this still voice of perfect mildness" came from above, they were obedient to it. They spent months preparing the house to sell, and moved out to a rental home in the meantime. They decided to stay there until they could decide where to move. Summer 2012: the